I was watching the latest season of the Real World and a relationship topic came up that sparked my interest.
How far into a relationship should you inform your partner about something from your past? More importantly, what if your past may have a negative effect on your relationship?
Real World Scenario:
kept didn’t get to tell his roommates and more specifically, Heather (his boo on the show), that he was involved in doing porn for a gay men’s website when he was younger. His roommates all felt “lied” to. Should Dustin have told Heather and his roommates from the jump?
How soon is too soon?
People come in and out of our lives and only so few stay so do we need to inform everyone we get involved with of our past? Do we wait until things get serious? Is that too late?
Ms. B. BAD Says…
I personally believe a persons past should stay where it belongs and that is in the past. New people who come into your life shouldn’t feel entitled to knowing everything about you right off the bat. Intimacy comes with trust and trust is developed over time.
So yes, you should inform your partner of your past if it may have an effect on their feelings towards you and your relationship together. However, it should be mentioned when you feel comfortable with the other person and feel certain they will be around for more than just a few rendezvous’.
Share with me your thoughts on this, I’d love to know what you think!
Photos via MTV.
Personally I don’t think homeboy needed to announce his past to everyone when he walked in the door but the minute he decided to sleep with his boo, he should have given her a heads up. Just sayin’.
See, my belief is that he didn’t owe ANYONE but his girl an explanation. I do believe that the past should stay in the past and i’ve learned that from mistakes of telling and getting it thrown in my face, but it is 100% different when there is a chance you can see it on the internet.
Its a sticky situation b/c his business can be found out on the internet which is way too easy, I mean her mom found out via the internet! So personally I would want to be informed about this eventually and can also understand why he wouldnt bring it up right away. It isnt something he is STILL doing it was years ago.
I agree with u: “personally believe a persons past should stay where it belongs and that is in the past”
I tell some of my past, only when im confortable with the situation, everybody has their time.
wanted to watch this season!!!
I agree. Not everyone needs to know about your past. However, someone that you plan on developing a long-lasting, intimate relationship with, should know about your past intimate relationships. You just have to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, would you wanna know? I know I would! Dustin should’ve told heather before they got intimate. Heather made it perfectly clear that she couldn’t be with a guy who was “bi-sexual/curious”. Dustin knew this – it was wrong of him to keep it from Heather knowing how she felt. You never know whether you can trust someone from the jump, but it’s a matter of honesty. Now their entire relationship was developed on a huge lie. Even if Dustin was not sure he wanted a serious relationship with Heather, the moment they decided to make it official, he shouldve told her. The truth always comes out whether one is ready to face it or not- it should be told not revealed.
OMG what a shocker! I think if you want your relationship to move forward then you should share information. But the other person shouldn’t decide when the person tells you, you must be patient.
P.S. I just gave you a Stylish Blogger Award 😉